Something switched

When I lived in San Francisco I wasn't a believer, but I had started being intrigued by who and what God was. I lived by myself (well with another lady, but we were 25 years apart in age and she was seriously never home). So for me being alone in the city turned out to be a major transition time spiritually.

I would hear stuff from other people like, "If you are sad or need help pray and ask God and He'll be there for you." And I was like,

"Really? Really though?"          I needed to know it for myself.

One day I was walking home from school, SFSU, crying and I decided to let my doubtful wall fall for a moment and I let out a honest, irritated prayer- full of all the jealous frustrated emotions I was feeling.

Now, I can't remember if through my tears I waited to hear Him say anything or not, but once I had gotten home, had a snack, and stopped crying and while playing video games- I heard a still clear voice in my head give me the simplest response to what I was crying about on my way home.

I heard that one sentence and everything I was so worked up about fell into place in my heart and mind. It was going to be okay, and not only okay-but something switched in me that day....

I started to desire to hear from Him more and more....

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8