A tree

So, the last couple of days I've been made very aware of some of my bratty attitudes, evil desires, and bad habits. And each time I'm suddenly conscious of these things I'm like,
"Uhhh...gosh that's part of me. I am so sorry Lord. Please forgive me and help me get rid of that."

So, specifically tonight I was made aware of an evil desire, and I immediately confessed it to Him and said how sorry I was. But then I started feeling kind of gross, and I was like "Gosh, am I ever going to get rid of these things?! I feel frustrated and overwhelmed with how much work needs to be done still."

And then He quickly showed me a picture

It was a picture of me, but as a tree. I had big, bushy leaves and fruit hanging from my branches. And there was this one piece of fruit dangling; it was darker than the rest and had obviously gone bad.

As God showed me that even though I, as a tree, desperately wanted some sort of extremity to reach out and yank that bad fruit off of me-I couldn't.

I couldn't

And then in the picture there was a man, a man who looked like a gardener. This gardener walked up to me, the tree, and picked the bad fruit right from my branch. Just like that.

Jesus says, "I am the true vine, and My Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

I was instantly comforted and reminded of the fact that I can't fix myself. I can't make myself better or good. And it only hurts me if I beat myself up or become frustrated at myself, because I'm not who I hoped I'd be by now.

I'm okay...and it's going to be okay...because He is the gardener and I am the tree.