This is how God found me....

July 24 2005

On the floor, in a pile. Desperate. Me. Overwhelmed. Lonely, missing...desperate missing. Hurt not touched, not known. Someone just scoop me up. Squeeze me. Remind me I'm worth it. Tell me you won't leave me, don't you dare leave me. Please! Don't leave me! stay. Someone tell me you understand, you've been here too. I'm not crazy. I swear I'm not negative, I just need a hug, someone to say it's okay to hurt. I have no one. Someone to say, "Kimi, you're okay just the way you are." I can't smile anymore tonight, please tell me that's fine. I have no purpose. Empty, slow, hungry. Someone understand, no judging. hurting so much, wanting so much. Hitting bottom, let me die. people don't get me, i'm too much. Too much pain, confusion, need, hurt, tears. crying out. Hear me. Someone....please....

And then God did. He heard me. He rushed into my life. He sent me an angel. He told me I'm worth it. I am worth it. I can tell Him anything. He is excited for my purpose and what we'll do together. Together.

That summer, He picked me up off that floor, off the bottom, out of my pain, and now He won't dare leave.