Through us...

So even though the story I share below happened two years ago, I still feel inspired to post it. I just listened to a pastor online talk about how God is seeking to heal and comfort people and that He does it through us. I want God to keep loving people through me....

Sept 25, 2008

So I walk into church service with Jason at 7pm. We find seats in front of this girl sitting by herself, wearing a cozy sweater, and inside my head I hear God say, “Notice her.”

So I did and I thought, “Hmm, wonder what this is about?”

Then after announcements the pastor had us turn to someone next to us and say hello. I specifically turned around and said hello to just her. We both looked at each other with a specificness only God could conjure. I knew something was up.

During the sermon I asked God, “Okay, what about her Lord? What do you want me to do?”

And He was like, “I want you to talk to her.”

“Okkkkaaay how? I don’t even know her. The pastor is speaking right now, than after that is worship, then we will both get up and leave. How will I have time to squeeze in something before she looks at me weird and takes off?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

“Okay, I’ll trust You and be obedient,” but even still the thought came to my mind, “Hmm, maybe I should just pretend I know her from somewhere, just to get the ball rolling.”

But God is way cooler than that because right after the service was over, as I was bending down to pick up my purse off the floor, He nudged me to look at her face on my way up. As I did she was standing there staring straight at me with tears in her eyes and without hesitation said, “Would you pray for me?”

I quickly said "Yes," and told her to come to the back wall with me by the crosses. I asked her if kneeling down was okay and what I could pray for?

She looked at me crying and said, “I’m lost. I don’t know.... I’m just lost.”

So I quickly quieted myself and asked God to help me pray for her. As I prayed she sat sobbing in my arms. So open and needy for God-for His love.

After we finished praying she said that she had just left her church and that she doesn’t usually go to Rock Harbor church services. She was really upset about church stuff. Then I told her what God had said to me in my seat while I was worshiping.

Then she said, “Wow, God told me, 'Ask the girl sitting in front of you to pray for you.' And I told Him, 'Well, aren’t there people in the back with prayer tags on who can pray for me?'  He said, 'No, ask the girl in front of you.'  'But she’s worshiping and I don’t want to bug her.' Again He told me, 'Ask her.'”

We both sat there in the back of the church amazed by God and how He had spoken to both of us.

Then we both stood up slowly, said some awkward goodbyes, and shuffled out of the church service with everybody else.

I never saw that girl again.

But that night God blew me away with His ability to use two strangers to comfort one and increase the faith of both.

Where is the "off switch" in my brain?

As each day draws closer to my newborn sons' arrival I'm finding the hundreds of things to think about as a new mom are turning into hundreds of things to worry about as a new mom, especially lying in bed at night.

Last night my mind was racing. I almost couldn't believe that a person's brain could literally jump from topic to topic in a matter of seconds- each previous thought triggering the next...

"Did I register for the right things? What am I forgetting? Oh, I need to pack my hospital bag! Gosh, I'm scared to give birth, I don't want it to hurt. I don't want to be embarrassed or feel like a wimp if I can't handle the pain. How is it going to go down? There is so many ways the birth could happen, I don't want a c-section. Gosh if I have a  c-section how long will I have to recover? Will I have enough help or will I just feel completely overwhelmed with baby. I need to make sure I can have dinner ready for hubby when he gets home from work everyday. I don't want to be a bad wife. I don't want to be a bad mom.  I don't want Luke to get sick, but he is a kid and he will get sick. uh, autism, so many boys get it. I'm nervous. i hope we get along with our pediatrician. I heard you need to stay out of public places for awhile until the baby is a little older and his immune system is stronger. How am I going to go to the store or Target or church? i need to talk to my doctor. "

Finally in an exasperated whisper I was like, "Enough, geez! Lord, help me fall asleep. Will you help me turn my brain off? I am so nervous and worried about way too many things."

I was reminded, "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34 and "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

I was like, "Yes, good-do not worry about tomorrow." and then, "Tomorrow hmm, I think I can pack my hospital bag tomorrow. Who is coming to visit with me tomorrow? I hope I feel awake tomorrow, cause my head really hurts now and I think it's cause I didn't have caffeine today. Well, I'll have my coffee tomorrow and feel better. Dang, I need to call a bunch of people back tomorrow, I couldn't today cause my headache. I hope I have energy to call them.... "

With each thought I start getting sleepier and sleepier and slowly fade into sleep. Thank God. But dang if I'm going to catch my thoughts and make them obedient to Christ I need to realize how quick they run off and grab-em before they do.